Christmas is in exactly one week. I am almost done making my friend’s presents for Christmas, but not quite there. I usually hand make as many presents as I can, because it tends to be more meaning for less price, but it does cause me to get really busy. When I was younger, that wasn’t a problem because I didn’t really do much, but now that I’m older it can be a bit…much sometimes. Which is why I just bought a few of my friend’s presents instead of making them.
The thing is my friends are worth the time. If you’ve read many of my post, you know I brag a lot about how I have awesome friends. And because they’re so awesome, I don’t mind putting in the effort, because they’re worth it, and this year I’ve been blessed with even more friends that have just been plain out amazing.
And they’ve inspired me to put out a goal for myself that for this last week until Christmas I help as many as I can find that I think need help. I’m not really good with people, so I tend not to help as much as I should, but I want to make a special effort this week, and I hope that that special effort will carry over into the rest of my life.
I subtitled this blog “What good have I done in the world today?” I love that quote, and it reminds me to put a special effort into being a good person, and to help others. After all, my goal is at the end of the week to be able to sit at my computer and I know that I helped others, that I was kind, and that I will continue to lift others up. That is the goal of this blog; to life others. And sometimes I’m not very good at it because I’m a mess and I know it, but I figure that as long as I keep trying, eventually I’ll get good at it.

For some reason, I’ve always been somewhat self-concious about my appearance. Which is sort of weird, considering that I’m usually considered very pretty. Of course, it’s not like I’m my best friend, who’s the one who usually is considered the beauty. I mean, just look at her… She’s pretty. She’s really, really pretty. She’s also photogenic, unlike most of the rest of us.
But she’s also a lot more than a pretty face. She’s a thousand inside jokes, she’s a genius, she’s days at band camp, and pure musical talent. She’s a kind girl who managed to make friends with the grade weirdo, and the schemer who is determined to get things her way. She’s stubborn, and she’s strong minded, and she doesn’t take “You can’t do it” as an answer.
Appearance isn’t and never has been what has made her my best friend. Because appearance doesn’t create friendship; it doesn’t create love. It might create interest, but that’s not the same thing. Her and I might have people notice us because of our appearance, but we make friends with our weird geekiness.
Our friendship and love comes from moments that those when we laughed over things no one else would understand, had the craziest conversations, and just kept doing it every time we saw each other.
See? These probably don’t make sense to you if you weren’t there, but to us, these were priceless moments. We didn’t have to look our best, we just had to be there. And that’s when I felt accepted, that’s when I felt loved.
And maybe there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice. I try to look nice. It just in the end didn’t matter, because honestly my friends couldn’t care less. And to anyone who hasn’t had the experience of being accepted for being who you are, I encourage them to keep trying, because one day they’ll find it. I know it can be hard, because I’m not usually accepted, because I’m the weird good girl who talks to much and dances to music no one else can hear, and yet somehow I found it.
And I’ve found that in the pictures I’ve taken, my favorites tend to be those of us laughing so hard we couldn’t stop.

Recently, I’ve been having a tendency to feel depressed, even when nothing actually is upsetting me. It’s really annoying, and I don’t really understand what’s going on all the time.
But I’ve got some great friends who’ve helped me get through it. Made me laugh when I was done, and kept me from feeling so bad. They’ve been amazing, and they’re one of the most major reasons I can keep going on, no matter how bad things get.
Love you guys! Really, I couldn’t do it without you!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Honestly, I am so thankful for this break from school. It’s nice. I don’t hate school as much as most people, but boy could I am glad for the break. My honor’s classes keep on slowly turning up the heat, and luckily, since I’m done with marching band and play I can keep up, but robotics club is starting to get more stressful as our competition grows nearer.
As it happens, most of our club is often in arguments with other members, since the majority of us are…lacking in communication and people skills. I’m pretty sure we can pull of making a robot. I just hope that we can pull it off without anyone having to lose a hand.
I don’t have the same “people problems” as some of the other members. Mostly because I’m too busy talking to and being happy that I’m around Harg (my long-time crush, and now boyfriend) to really care. And also I don’t do building. I’m the head of organization and club photographer, but in actual work on the robot, I’m mostly limited in getting tools and supplies for other members. Oh, and I fill out this journal that we have to keep of what we do every time we have practice, but that also doesn’t have me actually working on the robot.
Anyway, let’s just hope we can actually pull this off.
So, anyway, I’m really glad for the break. It gives me some time to relax. I do try to keep myself doing some things even when I’m on break, because otherwise I get really miserable (I’m a workaholic, what can I say?) but I’m still not doing a whole lot. Just studying Spanish and History and a few handwork projects. Also, I’m trying to finish up the book I started a while back. I usually finish books quickly, but this one is nonfiction, and nonfiction books take me a while.
I also washed all the blankets in my room (my room’s the room my family tends to watch movies in, so there tends to be a lot of blankets hanging out of the couch in it).
Cupcake and Sprinkles though are enjoying the newly washed blankets. They’re soft so they can just roll around on them and talk. Sprinkles isn’t a talker, but she’s opening up a bit to Cupcake. Which makes him really glad.

Last week I wore about endings. Now I want to talk about what happens after things begin; a new thing starts.
Yeah, play and marching band are over. It’s not like I’m ending my extracurriculars. Robotics is still going on full swing, and now something new is happening. It’s a new program called Pen Ohio, and my school is hosting it this year. I’m not sure if I’ll be on the team yet, but I am signed up for it.
Also, something bigger is starting with me. A new relationship, or at least a stronger one. My crush of two years asked me to be his girlfriend! My brain hasn’t fully registered it, and it’s been nearly a week! We can’t go on dates until I turn 16, but it’s enough for now just to know that he cares and likes me back.
I’m not sure how this will all go, but hey, I’m just beggining. I don’t need to know everything yet. I’ll just take it one step at a time for now.

Yesterday was the last marching band competition. This coming week is the last week of play. These two extracurriculars which have taken my time, my sweat, and my tears are coming to a close.
Thank goodness.
Okay, a few people are going, “What? But don’t you love them?” Just because I love them doesn’t mean I don’t want things to end. I find something very satisfying about a job well-done, and I can usually only judge how well done I’ve done at the very end. For me, endings aren’t bad. Everything must end eventually. School, memories, outings…while some endings do cause me sadness, one thing ending means that another thing can begin. Everything, with the exceptions of God, family, friendship, will one day end.
And hey, if I finish strong, then I can look back on it and say, “Good job. Now your ready to work on something even bigger and better.”
And if I don’t finish strong, then I can do better at my next project.
So, no, I do not fear endings.

Turns out that my friend had not kidnapped Cupcake. He was found in my family’s driveway. Apparently he had gone exploring.

When you survive cancer, everyone calls you a hero.
It seems weird to me, since I didn’t do anything except obey the doctor’s orders and get sick in the first place. I don’t consider myself the hero. My doctor was a hero. My parents were heros. God was a hero. Me? All I did was one of the things most vital to human instinct. I survived.
Still, when the school’s annual cancer walk came and we put up signs of members of families and friends who had fought cancer, or were fighting cancer, my name was up.
It’s weird walking and seeing my name. When I looked at all the people I knew nothing about, I could see that they were heros. That had meant enough to someone for them to put their name up. I realized that I guess that does make me a hero. A strange one, but a hero just the same.
Actually the entire day of the cancer walk was really fun for me. It was an easy day during school because it was the end of the quarter, but had enough work that I wasn’t bored out of my mind.
I went to robotics after school, where I got to spend sometime with some of my greatest friends, Hannah-senpai, Abby, and Harg. It’s always for me to be around them, even if they know how to push every button I have. They make me happy though.
On Saturday, the marching band had a competition. It was surprisingly warm day for the end of October, which was really nice because usually we are numb with cold during this time of year. We did a really good performance. We didn’t win anything, unfortuently, but we still did the best we’ve done all year.
It was great though getting the time to spend with friends.
The above picture was taken during the award ceremony.
And me and my friends during dinner. We aren’t usually this nice in pictures. Usually we’re more like, well…
I brought Sprinkles and Cupcake along with me to the competetion. They were a bit surprised. Especially during dinner.
Since it started out like this…
And then suddenly there were only bones left. They think a monster might have eaten it, but they don’t have proof. I do though.
Part way through they got separated. Cupcake ended up in one of my friends duffel bags. Sprinkles kept trying to my attention so I would go looking for Cupcake, with mixed results. The hogging my camera was the best she did at getting my attention.
I must not have understood because my friend still has Cupcake, and well, I don’t. Sprinkles is still mad.
Just on a totally random note, I look great in my marching band uniform.